There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
