i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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