so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nutella sex= disaster
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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