Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
