so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
