the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
