I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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