shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
