ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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