I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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