Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
