think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
