Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
