I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
