you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
