I haven't been this sober since birth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
