You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
