Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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