arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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