dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
