I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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