i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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