Buhtt sex?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
