Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
