This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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