you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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