Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think my moral compass just broke
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
