That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You ruined the universe
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
