hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
