try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
