why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
