no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
