So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
