My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
