he puts the penis in happiness.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
