No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
