i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
