Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i've created a new STD.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
