Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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