how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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