We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
