Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
