He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
