Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
