He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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