last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
