it wasn't lemon gatorade
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
