No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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