It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Someone shit on the floor
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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