When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
